Big news! Deleting this tumblr in five (5!) days.
#sensual ecstatic dance
I’ve had a great almost 3-year run with this blog, but I think it’s time to say goodbye. I love all of you, and I will definitely still be checking in on all of you who I check in regularly with anyway.
I have plans to start a wordpress blog- something I’ve been wanting to do for years. And I’ll get to take this time to work on other things- like strengthening my local community ties during my last 6 months here in Santa Barbara and then wherever I move to in August for school. All while also working on Sensual Ecstatic Dance (my class), getting it to Wanderlust and teaching at other festivals, etc. I plan to be up to big things the next year, and I would really love to have you continue to follow along. Read below.
I will continue to keep the following accounts open-
Instagram= arichandrasana (same as tumblr name)
Facebook= I hardly use my yoga page anymore as I don’t regularly teach yoga anymore, but if you’d like, add my personal facebook! Search Ari Jacknow and maybe shoot me a message too if you aren’t confident I know who you are (and that’s okay).
Keep a lookout for in the next month= a facebook page for SENSUAL ECSTATIC DANCE, and a wordpress blog of mine with a TBA title. The Sensual Ecstatic Dance page will come first as I’m bombarding the Wanderlust people in less than a week with my proposal to have me teach the class there.
i’ve been absent-ish on here for the past week. damn, i barely have any idea what day it is really (after a check- Sunday!) let me lay some things down:
-meltdowns this past week. meltdowns. i got the police report for my accident and no one really tells you this, but if you ever get into a traumatic accident- don’t ever read the report yourself. just don’t do it. you either will not want to re-live that shit or, like me who was knocked out + have amnesia, you won’t want to read about all of the scary details you missed when you had your head stuck under some part of a truck (and about the person who put you there and the witnesses who saw everything).
- second meltdown was due to grades. but really it was due to my high and level of tipsiness and looking at my grade percentages wrong online. so no more alcohol or mj for ari for a while. or until i feel more stable.
-i am feeling better.
-i don’t have the energy to capitalize things all of the time or to not type expletives. partly because my right forearm is in a cast and i only have use of 3 fingers in that hand to type with, but also partly because im trying this new thing where i dont try to project the best me 75%-100% of the time on this blog. cause that’s boring, and maybe that worked for me and was more appropriate when i first started this blog and continued to use it to promote myself professionally, but i dont really do that anymore. and also cause im trying this thing where i dont hide shit i do, like im gonna tell all of you and everyone else that i meet that yeah, im a feminist, and yeah, i’ve taught yoga, and yeah i also teach a sensual dance class, and yeah i really do have a lot of interest in studying sex but i also have interest in emergency medicine and i am so many more interesting things wrapped into one and my jobs, hobbies, and interests reflect that. take it or leave it. i also swear so much in real life it’s almost comical that i hardly do it on this blog. like i have a fucking foul mouth and it makes me feel great to swear.
- ^^ that felt AMAZING to write!
-ive been working hard these past two days to finally finish my self-made application to bring my sensual dance class to Wanderlust festival and i am really excited. cross your fingers.
-i still don’t have full feeling or muscle use in the right side of my face and when i look at photos of myself smiling taken in the last two weeks i can see it. kindof sad. really sad. **don’t think about it.
-nice guys are the theme of my past week. but my other theme of these past two weeks is a nice guy is not by default the best guy for me. keep pushing.
-spending the night on the beach (camping) on new year’s eve with good friends and i cannot be more excited.
-my cousins are calling me “Crash.” cue the LOLs, I know, fucked up humor. it’s pretty good though, you gotta admit.
"I am not a woman. I am an inferno, I am a tempest. I am venom and fangs and claws. I am lightning and starlight, and I am hell in high heels."
"Remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of these three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep your inner space clear."
-very close to turning in my last paper and this semester is OVERRR.
-massage in t-2 hours = yes, please.
-re-setting my metacarpals and getting a new cast in t-5 hours= no, thank you.
-farmer’s market to finally get some real fucking food bounty in our fridge again (haven’t really since the accident).
-sleeping later. lots of sleeping.
have a good day!
You have a photographic memory??? That is SO cool.
not like Lexi Gray (lexipedia) status, but I can tap into my memory stores during tests and see flashcards I’ve made and notes I’ve written in notebooks. I use different colors (highlighters and pens) to promote this photographic memory, and that helps. It’s not always consistent though or something I count on- it’s just what I have realized I have access to. I’m working on making it stronger. I’m sure there are ways to make yours stronger too as everyone has a photographic memory to some extent (it’s how you remember people’s faces).
#this blog has turned into the wambulance
#blaming it on the accident
thinking about my dating/love life right now makes me want to jump off a bridge.
like I don’t even understand what is wrong with everything i’m doing/have done or if it’s just a santa barbara men thing (which my best friend natasha believes it is).
i’ve never wanted to close myself off before, but i honestly rather would. i love this place so much because of school, work, community, yoga, fitness, nature, people, everything, but these past 3 years have been nightmare after nightmare of boy situations. i should just focus on the things i love and ignore the rest.
your turn! Once you get this you have to write 5 things you like about yourself and then pass it on to 10 of your followers! :)
1. I am alive and living.
2. My toes! I dig ‘em. Never can exactly pinpoint why, but I like my feet.
3. I do like my smile a whole lot… realizing this as the right side of my face has some healing left to do and a lump of scar tissue or fluid or blood or whatever it is is preventing my smile from spreading as wide as it usually does. So I’m realizing I am grateful for my smile and hopefully I continue healing and can fully get it back.
4. My open-mindedness.
5. My brain! It has impressed me with the amount of shit it can take and still do damn well under the circumstances. Learning how to write with my left hand and figuring out how to study and find a new way to harness my photographic memory has been hard work, but I did it/am doing it.
massage scheduled for tomorrow
thank GOD. I need it.
I’m planning a bunch of other body treatments and want to aim to do one once a week for the next few weeks. I’m feeling more residual pain and achiness and I’m just concerned about the state of my body in general, obviously. Not being able to do much yoga is having serious physical, emotional, and mental effects on me. I also tried self massage with my lacrosse ball and foam roller but it’s more difficult with a cast on my right arm.
not to mention I STILL haven’t gotten a response from C. I’m like, so stupidly heartbroken, because I am starting to realize there really is no such thing as the exemplary nice guy. I’ve been burned by too many of them this year where I think I’m doing the right, safe thing trying to start something with them. no more.
"Acting like you don’t care is not letting it go."